Now I understand better

It has been quite a long time I did not write here. So tonight I'm going to entertain all of you my lovely grandchildren with some stories. Okay. The first one is I am so bored right now since I have finished my study...I am serious...So bored..I need to do something very adventurous and creative to fill up my leisure time...I remember I went to Perak with my friend just to eat a bowl of laksa..We departed from Penang..lol...That was a very good memory to finish off my study....Oh before I forget, I have stopped one of my nasty habits...You know how? I made the decision to stop because I went to the hospital few days ago and saw the victim suffering from diseases regarding to the nasty habit...It was so scary I tell you...And another main reason is I am not a man who likes to be a burden to others so I decided to stop...You know, when you are sick, you will be a burden to people who are close to you...They have to take care of you since you are so dependable to others...Maybe you think that's how people show their love by taking care of you when you are sick but for me,I cannot stand taking care of people who I think purposely pay to get them sick...I am so wrong because I started it...Now I believe I am stronger than before...I want to be the person who I was before...

Now to concede my plan, there are several side effects. The first one is I do not have appetite to eat....Usually I eat some slices of bread in the morning and at night...I also do not know why but it happens...Secondly is I easily feel tired and sleepy...I feel like I lost my motivation to live...ahaha...

Enough say...Tomorrow morning, I want to go for a jogging...Because I am too bored...haha...so tonight I want to sleep early...sleepy already dear...Good night,love u,miss u,bye2

One of the greatest defeats ever!!!

Good evening!!! Today I am going to talk about one of my greatest defeats ever.I'm not going to talk in details but what I want to stress here is about what I've learnt from it. I will talk and describe it 100% without any censored!!! So beware~ Are you ready?

First, yeah it hurts when I fail. I am sad. But I am not regretting of what I have done. You know, actually I feel relieved because I had carried the burden for far too long. So tonight finally I got to say it...Most probably people would think I am pretending but nope, I am not pretending. I follow a powerful saying " when I am sad, I stop being sad and being awesome instead". Thanks to my friend, who is a world class DotA player who came up with this saying. After he was defeated in one of the most important games in his life, he said that on his status. So I was inspired by it.

Secondly, sorry I cannot go on. I think this is the end of it. I am not a person who will wait for another opportunity(if there is) because for me, I must do it right for the first time. Obviously I fail. So I want to stop. Better I put a distance between me and the failure. I must delete all the memory about my failures so that I can go on. That's my policy.

Thirdly, thanks to all my friends who were supporting me when I was in that situation. Damn, with good supporters also I lost. Hahaha. Thanks because of you I finally have guts to do it.

So what's the bright plan? Dunno yet...sleepy d...hey, no hard feelings okay...I just did what I had to...Night2..bye

Sorry I didn't mean to be rude

Today when I came back from a talk, I was so tired and sleepy. I saw a worker in front of my room. He asked me to open the door because he wanted to check wiring and fan. I did not ask for any repair service. I did what he asked. He repaired my lamp and what pissed me off was he did not take off his shoes even in my room. Wew~ It is rude if people do not take off their shoes when entering a house or a room. It is all about cleanliness. I watched the worker did his work with angry bird face. Not long after that, his partner came and watched the work. He asked me " Is this a room or what?" in sarcastic tone...I knew he was referring to the condition of my room...It was quite messy with many papers on the floor and clothes in the bed..I said to him "If it is not a room then it is what?"...He was shocked with my answer because my tone was hard and firm...I asked him again "If it is not a room, then what is it?"...He knew that I was serious and he went away....

Now I would like to apologize to the person who I threw my anger on him. I did not mean to be rude but he provoked me...I tried to talk nicely to him but too many external factors influenced me...Sorry dude...You got me at the wrong time...

When I'm hungry

I went to MC D for dinner. It was just so sudden I felt I wanted to eat Double Cheese Burger (The most tastiest burger ever in the world). I set my mind and went out. On the way, it started to rain heavily. I started to rethink my plan because my clothes were all too wet. I decided to stick to the plan. So I continued my journey till I reached the supermarket. I parked my bike and looked at myself...Wew... I was so wet. I could feel water dripping from my clothes. I waited for awhile to relax myself. Then I went into the shopping mall heading straight to Mc D. I could see eyes looking at me...I played cool...In my heart, I laughed so hard because I was all wet and I made the floor slippery...hahaha...Maybe they thought I was crazy...yaarrr...I am crazy...I went to the counter and ordered the burger...Take away of course...The cashier looked at me, and smiled...I smiled back and in my heart I said "Yar...Smile coz u are on the camera"...After I got my burger, I went back to the college...Still raining...I took my own sweet time enjoying the ride in the rain...As I reached my hostel, my drink spilled...Luckily my response was so quick...Only a few drops spilled coz I managed to catch it...I sat down in the TV room watching news...News over, I watched a drama...Felt sick with endless romantic drama, I headed back to my room...Played games...Then here I am...Writing this for you...Now sleepy...good night...tataaa...

Hey!!!

Want to follow me? I'm going to Mc D to eat double cheese burger!!!

come listen to me..I'm crapping

Well I just finished watching a movie. You know what, the movie was about love. Extremely rare for me to watch love movies. There was a time where I hated so much watching this kind of movie. Even songs which were related to that theme also I hated. But tonight is so special because I was really bored. I did not have anything to do. I played DotA but I felt annoyed as so many players left their games coz they could not stand when they were killed. What a fragile heart.

Oh before I forget, in the evening I was almost picked fights with two of my not-so-good friends. I wanted to bash two of them because of two different reasons. The first one is because he did not ask for my permission when drinking my water. I only realised it when I came back from a speech and I felt so thirsty.I opened my refrigerator and saw only a few drops of water in the bottle. I asked my roommate about that and he told me my not-so-good friend drank it last night. I hate when people drink my water or eat my food and the best part he did not ask for my permission. Ya..I was so angry but I did not do anything stupid. I remembered a saying " a true strong man is a man who could control his anger". So I tried to control my anger and it worked...Wow...I felt so strong after that!!!..arrrr ( dinosaur roar).The second guy who made me angry was because he always drinks my water. Then I asked him to refill the bottle before I went back to the hall for a talk. The talk was about 3 hours then when I came back I found out he did not refill the water...Yarr...Once again I was angry...He was not responsible and took advantage of me...So I retrieved the bottle and I said direct in his face "you, do not use anything that belongs to me anymore." Actually I was not really angry, I pretended because sometimes I did that to teach a lesson to people.

Now I am as calm as a sea...You know when you are making friends with people there are several arts to maintain it. The basic rule is you should know the border. Then respect it. If you do not like some of your friends, put a distance but never treat them badly. It is because you are nice,so be nice to all. You will find many kind of friends. They are those who talk bad about you when you are not around, some will have different point of views and some will be your good friends. Appreciate all of them because they somehow make you matured.

Erm...I'm sleepy already dear...Nite2..bye2

Almost finish~

Good evening my dear grandchildren. For today, I want to tell you that I have mixed feelings as I almost finishing the study. I feel glad and sad the same time. I'm glad because my journey here ends and I feel sad because I need to leave my friends. It is hard you know to gather all my friends back after this even if I pay all of them to do reunion. Oh...I also feel happy because I did everything that I had planned to do before leaving the college. I have nothing to regret.

Now I am a bit worried about myself. I mean during the holiday where I have to wait for my posting. I need to stay at home. Honestly, I do not like staying at home. First and foremost is because I do not like my schoolmates. They have mentality to demotivate their friends when talking. I like my friends in my hometown but obviously I cannot meet them often because the house in the town is rented to other people. I can see how my holiday will be spent. Most of the time I stay at home until the process of rottening happens. Yep.I do not socialize when I am at home.Most probably I will go to work to occupy my time. Erm...I hope I will find a good job. If I'm not working maybe I will be a fisherman.Well, I used to dream to be a fisherman when I was a kid. Hope I will still keep in touch with my friends after we have graduated.

I do not mind to be posted any part in Malaysia as long as it has electric,internet and clean water supply : ). One of my friends talking about posting in Sabah and Sarawak where the salary is very tempting. He planned to save up until 60 k in 5 years and open a studio. For me, if I have the chance to save that much money,I want to use it to pursue my study abroad. If possible I want to work there. Marriage,buying houses and cars are not in my plan.

I have a new addiction. Currently I like to see contemporary house decorations. They are simple yet attractive. I like these kind of decorations. Honestly I hate when seeing Malaysian's houses. People tend to over decorated their houses with nonsense furniture and stuff. I guess they have a bad taste of decorating their houses. If...IF ok...If I am married, I hope my wife has the same taste like me. If she does not have the same taste, I will influence, beg and force her.Poor to the woman who is married to me.

Owh...I have another thing to say. I will be reborn during this coming holiday...huhu...Just watch later okay....Love u dear....bye2...

This week only

Good morning my dear grandchildren. Tonight I did so many things.I went to karaoke with my friends and played DotA with juniors. Actually I did not really want to play but they insisted. So I taught them several things about DotA. I could see they were addicted to DotA just like me. You know, my team won the DotA competition held in the college two days ago. Our opponents were not so good. They were lack of exposure to the real world of DotA resulting us to feel bored when playing. Anyway, congratulate me fast because we won the competition!.

Mentioning about DotA, I remember one thing. In the evening today before I came back to the hostel, I played several games at my house. When I am playing, I do not like people to disturb me unless they have something important. So today when I was playing suddenly I received a message. I kept on playing but the message was on my mind. I went to search my handphone and I read the message. The sender was unknown. No name displayed except numbers. The message was about asking me for lunch. I thought the message from my friend because certain names won't be displayed on the handphone because of malfunction error. So I replied " Sorry I am at home right now". After a moment, I received another text saying that "Opps..sorry..wrong number". I did not reply. Then not long after that another message received. The message was from the same sender, "Hi...who are you?".I started to feel annoyed because I was in game. I replied "U got the wrong number, I am a man,this is a lame tactic to tackle a girl...bye2". Then I received another and another. Obviously the sender wanted to know me. I was really pissed off and I switched off the phone. Moral of the story is Do not disturb me when I'm playing game...Until now I feel piss off because I lost the game where I had to switch off the phone.

Suddenly

Why suddenly I feel myself so pathetic and also I feel like a loser? Today I played DOTA game and I won 9 out of 10. It is a big achievement yet I do not know why I feel like a loser. Normally I would enjoy myself after winning games. Perhaps these feelings do not have any relationship with what I had done today. My theory is, these feelings have been built for a long time gradually and today is the day where it almost comes to the peak.

You know I have so many things I want to tell but I do not have time to write in here. By the way, tomorrow the DotA tournament in my college is going to take place. Hey...How I wish you could wish me "hey good luck for tomorrow".I know I do not need luck to win but it is just a wish to ease my nervous. Yeap. I always feel a bit nervous before tournament begins. I remember my first time I participated in tournament. My hands were shaking and my heart beat so fast.

Back to the topic, I think I know why. Maybe I never achieved anything big that I have planned. I'm growing old everyday. I think I am a loser...but if I'm a loser, I will be the best loser ever alive in this world...

SONG..SONG

Last night when I was looking for good songs, I came across a good song. I do not know why my recent songs are related to December month. My recent favourite song is Love In December by Club 8. The band is from Sweden if I'm not mistaken and they are famous in Indonesia because they often sing along with a band from Indonesia named Mocca.

Well I like the song because the lyric is quite alive and the melody is soothing. I like this kind of song. You know, usually we like certain songs because we feel they are written for us. I do not know but what about you? Agree? :)