2 months

It has been awhile since the last time I updated this. It has been more than 2 months I am married. I am still the same me. Clueless about what is going to happen next. Lately I am very disturbed with what the person I love the most said. If only I could say to that person " I have given up my precious, please...If you want to go, take me with you too. I have nothing in this world". I am not kidding. Until now, it still hurts. I am eager to be the best but I am my own enemy. And time is also my enemy. Don't leave me yet :(

My recent thoughts

It has been awhile since the last time I wrote here. About 12 more days I am getting married. I do not really know what to expect from it but I hope I can do my best. This marriage gives me a very heavy responsibility because the name that I am carrying. I am not afraid of my partner or the life after it but I am afraid of myself. I am the most evil man I have ever known. I am afraid I would become a bad partner due to my behaviours. I know how evil I am. I do not want to destroy someone else's life. Hopefully things will turn out to be great and smooth. I am doing this for the sake of getting into the elite group. May one day I will be able to say " I regret nothing".

Do not give up

It is funny for you to feel you lose something but you do not really have it at the first place. Are you kidding me? There are good people out there. Be strong! and start searching for them. My secrets and my past are very dark. Darker than the night. Be grateful.

What's the verdict?

The waiting is killing me. I am nervous and excited at the same time. And I really want this to end as soon as possible. I can't really predict what is going to happen. Hey, remember this. No matter what is the outcome, always focus on the purpose of this thing. I am here not to fool around.