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Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Haunted and bothering

Hello my grandchildren.I miss you even you are not born yet.I want to share something with you tonight.It is a bit personal.I am not sure to whom should I tell.So if anything happens to me after this,you will know what you need to do when you face the same thing later in your life.You know,I always dream when I am sleeping.Dream is still mysterious to the science world.I am not a person who will easily believe in something mystique.I will try to relate something with science yet  scientists have not reached the final conclusion about why do we dream and why do some people can foresee the future in dream. So I stick to the standing where dream is just a projectile of our subconscious brain activities.But what bother me the most is I have consistently dream about  3 things.I do not know why.They come alternately.The first one since I was a kid is I always dream bout I am able to fly yet I always find some difficulties.Sometimes there will be some random people chasing me and I try to escape from them by flying.Funny.At first I thought the dream would fade away as I am growing up but I was wrong.It still haunts me.Next is there is someone constantly appear in my dream.The same person.Is it a sign or I am thinking too much of it?I will start to feel so touched by the presence of that person.I want to beg to the person don't go but my mouth is shut and I will start to have mixed feelings.Missing the person,glad that the person comes,angry and at the same time I am so sad.I do not know why.If I woke up after that dream,I would feel confused and thought about it the whole day.It happens automatically and I want to have that person at that moment by my side badly.It is impossible yet I still long to have that person by my side.The effects will continue for about a week before it slowly starts to fade away.Then I will start to dream about it again.I think I am crazy.The last dream is I always dream about something terrifying. Yes terrified not scary.Terrified is the correct word for it.For example last night I dreamt I in a  swap,the water was as dark as night and I knew there were crocodiles in the swap.I was so terrified by the situation.From far I could see a big dark crocodile went into the swap to get me.Another one is I was in a forest, a dark forest with dim light from the sun and there was a big snake came for me.Oh I also dreamt I was at the river bank and I saw a big crocodile at the river bank as if it was waiting for me.In real life,I am not scared of those creatures but in my dreams,they give me goosebumps when seeing their size and being in those situations.Having these three consistent dreams over time I feel like there are hidden meanings about the dreams.I want to find someone who is capable to end my bad dreams.Are you the one?

Sunday, October 7, 2012

I see future

You know,I am tired answering people questions regarding my financial management. They ask me when will I buy new car, a house and getting married.Yes I do have the ability to grab all those things but they are not in my plan. I have my own plan. I am not even shaken when my friends now start to buy assets.Listen to this my grandchildren.Once you make a bad move in managing your financial,you will be forever tied and you cannot progress. You will end up doing the same routine for your entire life.Maybe at first you will find it hard to resist the temptation but hear me out.Don't grab all those things yet unless you really want to settle down at your current state of life.For me, I really do not want to settle down now.This is not the life I want.I want to work in an environment where people around me have something in common.Since I was a kid,I asked myself what I really want.Is this the life style I want to spend for a long time?A big NO!!!I have made my mind after I've been thinking for so long.I want to pursue my study to a higher level.At first I had a dilemma to choose between 2 years programme or 4 years programme.I asked myself whether I can handle the pressure and give commitment to it.I think the best for me is 4 years programme.As long as I have my master,I can get out from this environment.I need to have it to achieve my dream.So I will enroll it next week.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

dream

Yes, I do envy very much people who get to marry someone they truly love. What a nice life to have someone you truly love by your side.Colleges start to ask me when  am I getting married.They said as if it was easy.Maybe for them marriage is all about building a family,having someone taking care of you,have children and see them grow up. For me,finding the right person is very important.I am not going to start my new life with the wrong person.Life has ups and downs. By having someone you adore and love very much by your side,everything will be beautiful even the situation is hard.Spending every second with your spouse,growing old together and still in love. Isn't it beautiful?What is the point if you are married to a person but you are not fully happy?I would rather spend my life alone than marrying someone who I love half hearted.Life is cruel.So I will get used to it.There is something wrong with me.I hate being strong.Getting hurt and try not to think about it because thinking of it does more harm than good.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Time passes by

If you are not happy with your life,the least you can do is make someone happy with your presence.Yes it's sad but that is life.I think I am a fool for liking the same thing for a long time. Must put an end to it.I have put so much afford yet I fail. Maybe I should put more and double it. So many things to think yet so little time to react.Two parallel lines are so much alike,yet they will never be together.