Let go off my hand
I have other important things to do
In search of something
It's getting colder
You always protecting yourself
Do not come here to be with me
Believe in me
Nothing can make it better
Why do people are all the same?
Only appreciate when the thing has gone
I did remind you about that
But you...
NEVER LEARN~
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
...
B : Why are you so stupid?Easy equation but you cannot solve it?!! Obviously you are so stupid..
A : ...
Then A tried harder
A scored the highest mark in A's life. A even could not wait to get back to show it to you. A put it in a file so that the paper would not be torn or flipped.
A : Hey, I score the highest mark in the exam!!!
B: Only this kind of score you are very proud?
A : ...
A went outside, torn the paper, stepped on it, kicked it and burned it
A : I get the first number in the exam. It's not easy to get it because my class has so many bright students you know.
B: ...
A : Take a look at my exam result!!
B : You think this much of A's you are qualified to be in science stream class?
A teacher passed by and you showed the exam result while condemning me...
B : Do you think this kind of result can ensure him to get into science stream class?
The teacher : Wow..He did well in the exam..This kind of result is more than enough to be in the science class.
A : ....
A : Take a look at my result...
B : You are not doing good!!!Where do you want to go with this kind of result? See your friends who get higher than you
A: (Please see the Z subject...I'm the only student who score "A")
A: I do not want to be a "T"..I want to work as "S" because that suits my interest.
B : You do not have choice. You should not follow your interest because interest does not give you money.Job gives you money!!!
A: ...
A : I got the offer letter from the XXXX...They said I'm qualified to be a "T"
B : Well, you are in the institution not because of you result, but because you are lucky.
A : ...
Two majors exams have passed.
A: I got dean list for two semesters in a row....
B : The "T" course is very easy to score
A: ...
All the certificates are put in a box...do not care anymore what happens to the certificates.
A : How's my piano progression?
B : If you play this kind of style, you will be able to play a song in the next 20 years..
A : ....
Enuf~
A : ...
Then A tried harder
A scored the highest mark in A's life. A even could not wait to get back to show it to you. A put it in a file so that the paper would not be torn or flipped.
A : Hey, I score the highest mark in the exam!!!
B: Only this kind of score you are very proud?
A : ...
A went outside, torn the paper, stepped on it, kicked it and burned it
A : I get the first number in the exam. It's not easy to get it because my class has so many bright students you know.
B: ...
A : Take a look at my exam result!!
B : You think this much of A's you are qualified to be in science stream class?
A teacher passed by and you showed the exam result while condemning me...
B : Do you think this kind of result can ensure him to get into science stream class?
The teacher : Wow..He did well in the exam..This kind of result is more than enough to be in the science class.
A : ....
A : Take a look at my result...
B : You are not doing good!!!Where do you want to go with this kind of result? See your friends who get higher than you
A: (Please see the Z subject...I'm the only student who score "A")
A: I do not want to be a "T"..I want to work as "S" because that suits my interest.
B : You do not have choice. You should not follow your interest because interest does not give you money.Job gives you money!!!
A: ...
A : I got the offer letter from the XXXX...They said I'm qualified to be a "T"
B : Well, you are in the institution not because of you result, but because you are lucky.
A : ...
Two majors exams have passed.
A: I got dean list for two semesters in a row....
B : The "T" course is very easy to score
A: ...
All the certificates are put in a box...do not care anymore what happens to the certificates.
A : How's my piano progression?
B : If you play this kind of style, you will be able to play a song in the next 20 years..
A : ....
Enuf~
Friday, October 15, 2010
Not ready
Evening dear...How are you today?I'm writing this after I saw several pictures and statuses of my friends in Facebook..What disturbs me the most is almost all my friends took pictures with children and their statuses said they were ready to get married...
OMG...I feel a bit discomfort there because I'm not ready to get married...I swear I won't be ready to get marry in the next 5 years...How can I share my life with other people if my current life is not so organized? I may lead the girl who marries me to destruction
For now I feel very comfortable living solo and no commitment...You know, before you get married, you have to think very deep whether you are ready to bear the commitments...The best part is the commitments are very long...Maybe 20 years, 30 years or more...huuuuu..Well obviously I hate commitment...Coz for me, it limits my space and my freedom..I want to live free...
Aside from that, my greatest fear is when I have children..=_=..Frankly speaking I cannot imagine I have children...must be very funny, awkward, hideous, weird and many2 more things.. You know, it's not easy to raise a child...so many things need to be considered...I also do not like children very much unless they are my little siblings or have unique characters..
I won't never ever take picture with kids and set it as my primary pic because I an scared with kids..I'll be brave with them just to tease them as my entertainment..
I'm NOT READY FOR EVERYTHING...DO NOT ASK ME ANYTHING ABOUT GETTING MARRIED BECAUSE IT IS NOT AN INTERESTING TOPIC FOR ME...If you ask me about that question, I'll tell about how to raise a lamb instead of answering your lame question...I do not like it...
OMG...I feel a bit discomfort there because I'm not ready to get married...I swear I won't be ready to get marry in the next 5 years...How can I share my life with other people if my current life is not so organized? I may lead the girl who marries me to destruction
For now I feel very comfortable living solo and no commitment...You know, before you get married, you have to think very deep whether you are ready to bear the commitments...The best part is the commitments are very long...Maybe 20 years, 30 years or more...huuuuu..Well obviously I hate commitment...Coz for me, it limits my space and my freedom..I want to live free...
Aside from that, my greatest fear is when I have children..=_=..Frankly speaking I cannot imagine I have children...must be very funny, awkward, hideous, weird and many2 more things.. You know, it's not easy to raise a child...so many things need to be considered...I also do not like children very much unless they are my little siblings or have unique characters..
I won't never ever take picture with kids and set it as my primary pic because I an scared with kids..I'll be brave with them just to tease them as my entertainment..
I'm NOT READY FOR EVERYTHING...DO NOT ASK ME ANYTHING ABOUT GETTING MARRIED BECAUSE IT IS NOT AN INTERESTING TOPIC FOR ME...If you ask me about that question, I'll tell about how to raise a lamb instead of answering your lame question...I do not like it...
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
I hate you!!!
Evening my grandchildren...I guess I'm already dead by the time u read this...So I have to tell you things that you would not know if I'm not personally do it. Well as you can see from the title, the word "YOU" is referring to the "sport's day"...yeah...I hate sport's day.
You know why? coz I hate running in front of people, I hate to be in the field while the heat of the sun is killing me and I'm afraid I will not cooperate with the organizer...
I remember during my secondary school sport's day...I took part in the sports but halfheartedly... heh...I had several companions who had the same thoughts like me...yeay!!...One of the years I cannot forget is during the sport's day when I was in form 3 I had a fight with other student..You know, when I was in lower secondary, my height was 146 cm..OMG...so short..So several students tried to tease me coz I was short...At first I did not give any response because I was a good student..hehe...But one day,during the sport's day, one the students really got into my nerve...He called my names that I did not like...I could not tolerate any more coz of his face was like "pls punch me" face..
So I went straight to him then he gave me a grin...Then I asked him "what did u call me?"
He just zipped his mouth...His friends started to laugh coz he was afraid...So when I began to move away from them, that particular student started to tease me again..hahaha
Then I ran straight at him, I gave him a punch in his face...@_@..He felt...He woke up and started to kick and threw punch blindly...So uncomposed move...I took the opportunity to kick and bash him...hahaha...Then we played cat and mouse...We chased each other around the field..hahahaha
So how's it ended? He could not chase me after I punched him coz I ran around the tree...lol...So that particular incident is one of the reasons I hate sport's day...
But I tell you what,that student now is one of my friends already....And now I am taller than my secondary school..so I won't hesitate to be a bit cruel coz now I have power,,,hahaha
That's conclude my story for now...tata dear
You know why? coz I hate running in front of people, I hate to be in the field while the heat of the sun is killing me and I'm afraid I will not cooperate with the organizer...
I remember during my secondary school sport's day...I took part in the sports but halfheartedly... heh...I had several companions who had the same thoughts like me...yeay!!...One of the years I cannot forget is during the sport's day when I was in form 3 I had a fight with other student..You know, when I was in lower secondary, my height was 146 cm..OMG...so short..So several students tried to tease me coz I was short...At first I did not give any response because I was a good student..hehe...But one day,during the sport's day, one the students really got into my nerve...He called my names that I did not like...I could not tolerate any more coz of his face was like "pls punch me" face..
So I went straight to him then he gave me a grin...Then I asked him "what did u call me?"
He just zipped his mouth...His friends started to laugh coz he was afraid...So when I began to move away from them, that particular student started to tease me again..hahaha
Then I ran straight at him, I gave him a punch in his face...@_@..He felt...He woke up and started to kick and threw punch blindly...So uncomposed move...I took the opportunity to kick and bash him...hahaha...Then we played cat and mouse...We chased each other around the field..hahahaha
So how's it ended? He could not chase me after I punched him coz I ran around the tree...lol...So that particular incident is one of the reasons I hate sport's day...
But I tell you what,that student now is one of my friends already....And now I am taller than my secondary school..so I won't hesitate to be a bit cruel coz now I have power,,,hahaha
That's conclude my story for now...tata dear
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Down we go..strong I arise
Good evening!! I'm so tired right now but I want to write to you something because I don't have other people to go...Only you can be my companion..
Have you ever felt you are not appreciated? Well I have..so many times..At first it was quite hard to live on with that but after you get used to it,you won't feel anything anymore...This kind of situation is really bad if it happens when you are young because you will grow abnormally...You will carry on the personality that you have developed to encounter the feeling of not being appreciated as you deserved...When you are old,your behavior will not be the same with other peers around you..
I believe in a proverb which I created "when you feel pain too much,you won't feel anything even when you are happy"This is so true..I can easily fake my feeling pretend to be sad or happy until my friends and close people think that I really feel what I'm showing..
I tried several times to ask myself when was the last time I felt so happy..but I cannot recall it...all of them are not fully from my heart...I just be happy to ease people...You know what,I have a plan..one day I want to go as far as I could from people...so that I could be alone...I used to feel that I wanted to be alone until the right person came and found me..but that feeling has faded away...From now on,I just wanted to be alone so that no people could ever find me...
I always day dream being in a cold place,live in big house situated on the top of a hill,surrounded by hills and deep valleys,and all day long I play sad song on piano in the house...I just want to be like that..I want to play just for myself...not for anyone...
That's why I always listen to sad songs,fantasy songs, and when I'm listening to those kind of songs,I will start to imagine the place....Even when I'm nervous or tired, when I imagine that suddenly I can feel I just reborn with new spirits...When I'm down,I will keep telling my self "don't worry,one day you will go to the place." After saying that, I feel motivated...
How I wish I could go to that place...
Have you ever felt you are not appreciated? Well I have..so many times..At first it was quite hard to live on with that but after you get used to it,you won't feel anything anymore...This kind of situation is really bad if it happens when you are young because you will grow abnormally...You will carry on the personality that you have developed to encounter the feeling of not being appreciated as you deserved...When you are old,your behavior will not be the same with other peers around you..
I believe in a proverb which I created "when you feel pain too much,you won't feel anything even when you are happy"This is so true..I can easily fake my feeling pretend to be sad or happy until my friends and close people think that I really feel what I'm showing..
I tried several times to ask myself when was the last time I felt so happy..but I cannot recall it...all of them are not fully from my heart...I just be happy to ease people...You know what,I have a plan..one day I want to go as far as I could from people...so that I could be alone...I used to feel that I wanted to be alone until the right person came and found me..but that feeling has faded away...From now on,I just wanted to be alone so that no people could ever find me...
I always day dream being in a cold place,live in big house situated on the top of a hill,surrounded by hills and deep valleys,and all day long I play sad song on piano in the house...I just want to be like that..I want to play just for myself...not for anyone...
That's why I always listen to sad songs,fantasy songs, and when I'm listening to those kind of songs,I will start to imagine the place....Even when I'm nervous or tired, when I imagine that suddenly I can feel I just reborn with new spirits...When I'm down,I will keep telling my self "don't worry,one day you will go to the place." After saying that, I feel motivated...
How I wish I could go to that place...
Friday, October 1, 2010
Live forever?
Good evening my grandchildren.I've been through on such a hectic life until this moment.So many assignments and projects need to be completed.Actually I wanted to play online game but my internet is so slow.Slower than a snail.Only suitable for surfing and watching youtube..T_T..
But anyway today I'm going to tell you an event which did shake my though to the very core foundation of my life.It happened around 3 weeks ago but I still can remember it clearly.I'll cut it short and sweet just for you.3 weeks ago I went to see my great grandmother somewhere in Kedah ( I need to keep the location secret just for pure fun).I went with my grandfather.Ok..Actually my grandfather wanted to ride on motorcycle alone to the house but I felt a bit worry due to the age of my grandfather plus the distance also.I offered myself to take him to the house.I drove a car..The journey was really tiring because of the distance. Along the way,my grandfather kept mentioning his intention to eat roti canai...I stopped at several places to full fill his desire but there were no single stall selling roti canai..Then we proceeded the journey to the great grandma house.
By the time we almost there, suddenly my grandfather asked "Did you notice any mosque at the left side?The mosque indicates we are near to the house"...and I said "no"....In my heart I monologue "hmm..now you told me to look for the mosque..things would be easier if you mention it earlier..."but I could not get angry to my grandfather because of two reasons..The first one is he is my grandfather and the second one is I remember the time he waited for me almost everyday outside the school to fetch me up when I was in secondary school...but if other people do the same mistake like my grandfather did, for sure I will curse because of the action..haha...
Back to the story,we actually had passed the mosque so I did a U turn..Then we found the junction...so to cut it short, we arrived at the house..There was an old man sitting on a wheel chair greeted us..I asked my grandpa who was that and he said "that is ur great grandmother's son-in-law" huhu...so OLD!!!...
There was a sad thing happening after the old man greeted us...I noticed he couldn't talk properly!!!He had stroke...half of his body was not functioning so our communication became very difficult...My great grandmother was not at home...I asked him "where is my great grandmother?" he said something but all I could hear was "aaaa aaa aaa"=_=..I felt so bad because I could not understand not even a single word from him...But my grandfather could understand him...T_T...
My great grandmother went out shopping with her nephew...So we decided to wait for her...While waiting for her,my grandpa and the old man talked using signal language...I listened to the mp3 player but I could guess the topic with the help of signal language...suddenly the old man showed a sign by putting his both hands on his head...I was just like "?????"but my grandpa said "Yes..I did the Haj already"oOo...they were talking about the Haj...Then after my grandfather said that,the old man' eyes started to get wet...OMG..I could see tears coming from his eyes...He wept!!!He started to mumbling as if he was disappointed with himself...This time I could understand him..While there were tears running from his eyes,he tried to lift his legs and wanted to stand..He wanted to be normal so that he could go to Mecca...I was touched from what I saw..Both of them talked and talked for hours while waiting for my great grandmother coming back..Sometimes my grandpa asked me "Is it ok with you to wait until she is here?"...Frankly speaking no I'm not ok...I hate waiting..but for the sake of my grandfather, I said "yeah...I can wait for her"...I tell you,if other people ask me to wait especially for insignificance things, I won't wait!!!
After hours of waiting, finally my great grandmother came back..What a relief!!!...haha...From the first time I saw her, I couldn't resist to laugh because I was entertained by her animated actions..haha..I felt as if my waiting was very worth while....So many things I asked her...like "do you still smoke?"hahaha..yes!!MY GREAT GRANDMOTHER IS A SMOKER...When we were talking,relatives who wee staying near the house started to come...They had one thing in common..Which was all of them were old..=_=...I felt like I was trapped..haha...
Most common topic they talked was about death..OMG...That topic was not suitable for my age!!!hahaha..but from the way the talked,slowly I felt I got drifted by my young age..One of them said "Life is short...we used to be young like you..."he pointed at me..That sentence woke me up from my dream..now I realized how fast time can fly..We are getting older each second...For example I was younger when I started to write this blog compared to now...My grandfather really enjoyed the visit...I could see it from his eyes...Another thing is my grandfather said to his mother "Nowadays I am afraid to ride on motorcycle for a long journey because of my age..Luckily my grand son wanted to take me to see you"...I was like "OoO..actually you are not confident with yourself but you pretend to be other wise"If I did not offer him to take him to his mother,I dare to say he would go there even he is not fit enough"...
After awhile, we said goodbye to them...On the way back home,only God knew how tired I was but I played cool..My grandfather felt to sleep in the car...Leaved me alone driving..huuuu...
That's all for today dear..I want to sleep right now...see u soon dear..love u soo much..taaa
But anyway today I'm going to tell you an event which did shake my though to the very core foundation of my life.It happened around 3 weeks ago but I still can remember it clearly.I'll cut it short and sweet just for you.3 weeks ago I went to see my great grandmother somewhere in Kedah ( I need to keep the location secret just for pure fun).I went with my grandfather.Ok..Actually my grandfather wanted to ride on motorcycle alone to the house but I felt a bit worry due to the age of my grandfather plus the distance also.I offered myself to take him to the house.I drove a car..The journey was really tiring because of the distance. Along the way,my grandfather kept mentioning his intention to eat roti canai...I stopped at several places to full fill his desire but there were no single stall selling roti canai..Then we proceeded the journey to the great grandma house.
By the time we almost there, suddenly my grandfather asked "Did you notice any mosque at the left side?The mosque indicates we are near to the house"...and I said "no"....In my heart I monologue "hmm..now you told me to look for the mosque..things would be easier if you mention it earlier..."but I could not get angry to my grandfather because of two reasons..The first one is he is my grandfather and the second one is I remember the time he waited for me almost everyday outside the school to fetch me up when I was in secondary school...but if other people do the same mistake like my grandfather did, for sure I will curse because of the action..haha...
Back to the story,we actually had passed the mosque so I did a U turn..Then we found the junction...so to cut it short, we arrived at the house..There was an old man sitting on a wheel chair greeted us..I asked my grandpa who was that and he said "that is ur great grandmother's son-in-law" huhu...so OLD!!!...
There was a sad thing happening after the old man greeted us...I noticed he couldn't talk properly!!!He had stroke...half of his body was not functioning so our communication became very difficult...My great grandmother was not at home...I asked him "where is my great grandmother?" he said something but all I could hear was "aaaa aaa aaa"=_=..I felt so bad because I could not understand not even a single word from him...But my grandfather could understand him...T_T...
My great grandmother went out shopping with her nephew...So we decided to wait for her...While waiting for her,my grandpa and the old man talked using signal language...I listened to the mp3 player but I could guess the topic with the help of signal language...suddenly the old man showed a sign by putting his both hands on his head...I was just like "?????"but my grandpa said "Yes..I did the Haj already"oOo...they were talking about the Haj...Then after my grandfather said that,the old man' eyes started to get wet...OMG..I could see tears coming from his eyes...He wept!!!He started to mumbling as if he was disappointed with himself...This time I could understand him..While there were tears running from his eyes,he tried to lift his legs and wanted to stand..He wanted to be normal so that he could go to Mecca...I was touched from what I saw..Both of them talked and talked for hours while waiting for my great grandmother coming back..Sometimes my grandpa asked me "Is it ok with you to wait until she is here?"...Frankly speaking no I'm not ok...I hate waiting..but for the sake of my grandfather, I said "yeah...I can wait for her"...I tell you,if other people ask me to wait especially for insignificance things, I won't wait!!!
After hours of waiting, finally my great grandmother came back..What a relief!!!...haha...From the first time I saw her, I couldn't resist to laugh because I was entertained by her animated actions..haha..I felt as if my waiting was very worth while....So many things I asked her...like "do you still smoke?"hahaha..yes!!MY GREAT GRANDMOTHER IS A SMOKER...When we were talking,relatives who wee staying near the house started to come...They had one thing in common..Which was all of them were old..=_=...I felt like I was trapped..haha...
Most common topic they talked was about death..OMG...That topic was not suitable for my age!!!hahaha..but from the way the talked,slowly I felt I got drifted by my young age..One of them said "Life is short...we used to be young like you..."he pointed at me..That sentence woke me up from my dream..now I realized how fast time can fly..We are getting older each second...For example I was younger when I started to write this blog compared to now...My grandfather really enjoyed the visit...I could see it from his eyes...Another thing is my grandfather said to his mother "Nowadays I am afraid to ride on motorcycle for a long journey because of my age..Luckily my grand son wanted to take me to see you"...I was like "OoO..actually you are not confident with yourself but you pretend to be other wise"If I did not offer him to take him to his mother,I dare to say he would go there even he is not fit enough"...
After awhile, we said goodbye to them...On the way back home,only God knew how tired I was but I played cool..My grandfather felt to sleep in the car...Leaved me alone driving..huuuu...
That's all for today dear..I want to sleep right now...see u soon dear..love u soo much..taaa
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