Nope~

Good evening my dear grandchildren. Feeling good today? You know last week I almost drown. If I drown last week, things would be so different now. While I was dying and I knew I was in a deep trouble, I didn't scream or shout for help. Not really sure why. Maybe I don't trust humans that they could save me. Last week I noticed several things. Before that you must know that I nowadays I don't really like to socialize like I used to when I was young. So last week was actually the first time in almost 3 years I went out with my colleagues. We did an activity together. Then I noticed why I put my distance with others. The topics that intrigued them weren't really my cup of tea. I am not saying I am a good person or they are inferior, but it was just pure boredom. Talked about getting a second wife, women, and made fun of others. I am too old for that. Those topics are really lame. When I was there, I realised I didn't miss anything. Thought things had changed but nope. I am really glad I spend my time alone. I am not an anti social person. I really like to socialise but I am really picky with the people I want to spend my time. I want to grow and I love to have people helping me to grow. The problem is that kind of people are really rare so it makes me look as if I am anti social. Remember my advice. Choose your peers carefully. Don't do the same mistake I did. I had wasted too much time.

From heart to mouth

Good evening my grandchildren. I'm under the weather for several days. Not really nice right? There is something bothering me slightly. I do not really know how to express it. You know even though I am an adult, there are so many things I am still clueless about. I am not sure how I will I react when the moment comes. My best strategy is to go with the flow. Of course I should prepare myself but I just can't think straight. Nowadays my mouth betrays my heart. I remember one day my heart said other thing but my mouth uttered another. Why did you betray me? Perhaps I just want to conceal the real thing for my own safety. Hopefully next time I will shut up for awhile, rephrase what I am going to say, then say it. I do not want my mouth to betray my heart again. I am just too old for it.

2020

This is the first post for the new year. It has been awhile right? So I watched a drama where 2 people meet each other after separated about three years. That situation I had been through several times. I remember one time when I met a close friend after awhile, I started to see things differently. Back then we were close because we shared almost the same point of view. Then when we met again, I started to notice I had different opinions and views. I talked less and less. Now I lost contact with that particular person. One of the reasons I put some distance between me and my old friends is because I think I have changed a lot. I have problems to make them understand my actions and my beliefs. They will not understand because sometimes my actions and my beliefs sound so unreal and ridiculous to them but believe me,  my actions and my beliefs are real. There is a person I really want to know. How are you?How's life?How's your family?I am sorry. In reality I think I hardly have two words to say. I am off to bed now. Good bye