Abandon me not please.

It's coming back to me slowly. I have been waiting for it for quite sometimes. Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting for it? Finally it is coming back to me. Yea it was my fault I lost it. It all started at the moment I lost the person whom I love the most. You know I am the type of person who will give my all when I want something. I will try every possible way I can think of so that when it is destined for me to fail, I can say I have done my best. I will ask myself if I happened to come across the same situation, what could I do to have my desired outcome. I always come to conclusion that I can't do any better so no regrets. But...this time is different. I did my best. I tried my best yet I still have regrets and sorrow. I can't think what could I do to improve the situation. I just can't. How I miss the past. 

Dear silent readers, I know you read this. No, I am not depressed. It is hard to describe what I am going through. I do not know why are you guys reading this. Why?

A little different~

Hi...we meet again. Not sure I should worry or not but as I'm looking around, I realise I am a little bit different from others. I do not really have the drive for something like others would do. I don't like cars, expensive cars, big houses, and many more. I think you get the idea. I am not sure whether it is a good condition being like this. I do not have guidance. 

Weeks go by

Now my earworm has changed. I start to get back to my starting point. Relapse is the best word to describe my current situation. Do I like it? The short answer is no...the longer answer is nooooo....I don't want to be like this. I do not want to continue drifting. I am afraid that little by little, I am back to the starting point.I had sacrificed a lot to go to the front. I am not willing to go back. Sometimes...nah not sometimes. I always feel I am alone in this battle. I do not have close friends who have the same goal like I do. It is a hard battle. HELP~