So tomorrow is supposed to be my first pay day after working for 6 months. Yeah I am working now. Time flies so fast. It feels like just yesterday I had my last lecture.I am an adult now.Normal people at this point of life begin settling down and gathering piece by piece to complete their lives.My innerself cries inside that this is not the stage where I should settle down. My innerself says this is not what I want.I need to keep on changing my life.I do not want to get married at this point of my life. I am not satisfied with my life now. The best sign where I knew this is not the life where I've been dreaming of since I was a child is I still feel empty and lost.
What is life for me?I dream to settle down with my wife in a quite place. Outside, I have many good friends who have the same passion with me.I do not feel empty and lost.Do you know my routines are almost the same everyday?I do not hang out with my colleagues since we have different passions and interests. I cannot wait to get out from this lame life.
Arghh...I'm going crazy with this situation. So I have made my mind to keep myself busy doing things yet they do not involve other people into my life. I plan to have my own gym and punching bag.I want to buy those after receiving my payment tomorrow.
If this is life,why do I feel so empty and lost?
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Saturday, June 2, 2012
I have a dream which I've been chasing it since my childhood. But then I realize that all my hopes are only broken bones.I have broken bones.As I move,it hurts badly.As I move on with my life,it is so painful.Maybe the time isn't right to concede the plan.Yet it hurts.Everyday without failure, I look at you just to make me strong.After this,no more.Your pictures bring me heartache.It strikes right into the very core of my heart.Accept it my conscience said.So I will learn to accept it but...that does not mean I cannot be sad about it.I want you really badly.