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Saturday, January 31, 2015

Life is unpredictable

Good evening my grandchildren. Life is so unpredictable. I experienced quite a lot lately. At first I never thought in my life I would go fishing with one of my housemates. Until now I wonder how could he start to like the hobby?lol.So we went fishing together several times. But it seems it would not being so long since he is transferred back to his hometown. Yesterday we went to fish in a hut in the middle of a river. Well I've been there before so I have experience about the place. At the planning stage, I recalled every single bad experience to remind him the reality of fishing with me at that place. Mosquitoes, insects, no wind at all, lack of sleep, all those things I kept reminded him so he could prepare himself physically and mentally. You know, there were times where when I was fishing at harsh places, several times I asked myself  questions like "Why am I doing this?Why I left my cozy life?Sleeping on a hard surface". Eventually I promised to myself not doing it again. But after awhile, I went to fish again at extreme places. The process is repeated until now. =_=
Now back to the story about my fishing trip with my housemate, the trip day had arrived. We were highly motivated especially him because it was his first fishing trip for salt water. The journey took almost 2 hours to reach the destination. We had 1 hour to unload and prepare our fishing gear before the sunset. At that time during my previous trip, it marked the beginning of torment. Mosquitoes and insects started to hunt us but this time it was different. There was no single mosquito or insect. To make things better, the wind blew just at the right speed and consistently. At night, we could sleep like a boss it was windy and no mosquito. Regardless I had to sleep in a cement bed, I felt so good. In the morning, I spotted a school of fish. I bribed the fish with some bread. They ate like crazy but never took a bite on my bait. Well I have to admit that the situation drove me crazy for awhile. Disappointment and frustration started to cloud my judgement. I started to swear in Russian. =_=".It had been a long time since the last time I swore. Eventhough the swears were in Russian, bad words are still bad. I lost my composure to a school of fish. My housemate gave up to fish the school of fish but I tried and improved the technique in hoping to find the solution. Guess what??I didn't find any solution.Hahaha..Almost an hour passed I gave up too. I asked him to call for the boat to take us to the shore. We departed back to our house in the afternoon. To my surprise, the sun did not shine brightly as it supposed to shine in the equator. I drove back with ease.Ahhh....So good. As I reached home, I took a bath and went to a deep sleep. Now that explains why I am writing this in the middle of the night. I couldn't sleep now!!!haha...See you again next time.Take care

Monday, January 19, 2015

I miss you

It is very hard for me to enjoy life as I know a bit about the reality. Sometimes I ask myself "Am I trying too hard?". You know,looking back at the past,I was a different person.Then the reality struck me to the core.I am not here to enjoy something which is not permanent.I have to sacrifice for a greater good.Let's take a look at the past.So young,full of dreams and expectations.I could think about my dreams for hours.Thinking about the same things all over again.After a while I realized all these things are lies.Full of lies.You can't chase them because they will never be enough for you.Every day you will struggle for tomorrow.This is not life.Just take what you need,not what you want.Your desire is endless.Without you realise you are old and suddenly everything you go through seems like a dream.Is that the life I want?Nope.You can go and chase your desire but not me.I am not going to waste my time for something which leads me to destruction.Oh...How I wish I were next to you at this moment.I miss you so much.Who else can leave me a deep impact everytime we are together?Who else can motivate me when I am down?I am blind and deaf.You are the one who can lead me to the truth.I am in the dark and clueless.I am too incompetent to evaluate anything.How I miss you.I wonder if I ever cross your mind.I miss everything about you because of Him...

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Realise this

Good evening my grandchildren.It weird for me to write to you in the evening.Now let's talk about something heavy.About life.Life is short.I remember when I was young,around 7-8 years old,I started to realise how short our lives are.Yea,since I was little I started to feel time flies so fast.Around 9-10 years old,I started to see life differently.What's the point of having things which are not permanent?Whenever I saw people who were preoccupied with the world,I felt disgusted and sympathy towards them.The world is an endless race.You cant stop once you are in the race.Once you are rich,you want to get richer.Listen to me.Take things that you need,don't take what you want.Your desire is infinite.Now after meeting a person who can show me the way to control myself from the endless world's temptation,I feel a bit calm. The problem is finding a spouse who has the same point of view with me.People that I come across are all the same.They follow their infinite desire.Glory,gospel,girl for men.People are after other people's praises.They feel good as if they own the effort and everything till they think they deserve the praises.Oh...Be careful with it my grandchildren.Hunting for glory,praises and gospel will lead you to the most lowest life.You are here not for all those things.Back to your creator.I am telling you and reminding myself.Once you are preoccupied with the world,you will feel as if you are going to be alive forever.And then,snap!!!Your life has been taken back by the creator.You are back to the form of your first stage of life.Poor and helpless.That's what we are.That's all from me.Take care yea.Bye2

Monday, January 5, 2015


Ah suddenly the past starts to haunt me.Why brain?Why now?I think I am a little bit tired or perhaps that what happens if I do not have any better thing to do. By the way I have another paper for my first semester of master years.Suppose this is the time I should rest and sleep to regain my energy.I tried not to think about it,oh ya come to think that last week I met a person who brought the past of me to my attention.If he could just know me what I am now that would be great.Life is short and I have a very long journey to make.I have wasted 27 years of my life by doing nothing now I think I should make a move.No it is not about my future,it is way beyond that.The problem is not everyone can advice me about things I should do and must do.You are far away and I am here a bit lost.I'm heading to bed now.See you later my grandchildren.