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Thursday, April 28, 2011

It is

It is a mere memory..nothing much...People change,memory remained...Holding on to memory only will kill me...

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The longest...

Man...I'm fighting the longest war in my life.I'm not sure when it will end.You know,it is better if you keep everything to yourself.Nope, I do not have other people in my life.It is just simply we are not meant to be together.I am not planning to get married or flirt with other girls.I'm not that type of man.Right now I am rebooting my self.I'm not a man who will fall easily for girls.You know it.I'm too busy doing my own things.
I do not like commitments.I used to give my best but I failed so many times.So I need my own sweet time to recover from the deepest wounds and pains you brought.It takes years.Not days neither months.I'm not desperate to have a replacement.I did before I knew you and this time I will do it again but this time it will take be longer than before.
Erm,maybe forever.I don't mind spending my life alone.I told u so many times but you refuse to believe.Now I want to show you I am a man with my word.You see,don't waste your time waiting for something unsure.In the end,you end up hurting yourself just like I did before.Find other people who are greater than me.I believe there are many better people from me.Don't be so naive.Life is short.We are not meant to be together.So many things are blocking our ways if we are try to be together.Even me, a man who would try his best failed.Find a new life~

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I let all of you go

As I wake up today
I realised for too long I was not being myself
"I must end this"I said to myself

I started by erasing one "thing",
Which made me sick mentally,
I know I will "miss" it sometime,
But I want to be just like myself that long I knew before,

I just let it go,
Now for the second "thing",
I'm trying to let it go,
20 minutes more to my freedom,
To be reborn,
Just like myself before...

I know I will miss both of them,
But hey,that's what I was before...
I do not want to live in my current life...

Monday, April 18, 2011

Wise a bit

Good evening my grandchildren. I just woke up from my sleep coz I had a nightmare but nightmares give me thrills.I some kind like them though. I feel tired a bit today still I want to share with you something unwise.
You know,in FB there is an application that we can cr8 a question. So the answers are given in multiple choice. The funny thing is I have some "pious" humans started to cr8 questions which have definite answers and also they purposely want to publish themselves in the social network as pious and religious. So funny. There are several questions like " Are you proud being a muslim?"...I was like "stupid question...we only question if we have you want to imply that you have doubt in your faith?"Then many of "pious" humans answered the question "YES"...I was like "What is your purpose answering that question?Do you want to show you are pious?"...You may think I'm jealous or envy with them but actually I'm not. I hate them because I know them personally.Most of them acting like pious but in reality they are behaving like pigs.I know what they do and their lifestyles.If they really embrace the religion,why the heck they do against God's wills in reality?So I conclude these types of human beings are trying to publish themselves as pious human beings on social network. When other people see they answers,they will think these human beings are pious.Be careful...These types of humans are very dangerous to you.They are the one who will destroy the religion in the future.
The second one is there are copy and paste statuses like "I love Allah ♥ Put this as your status.
80% won't post it because they're afraid to be laughed at.Allah said : "Deny me infront of people, I will deny you infront of them".
So many of humans copied and pasted it on their statuses.Erm...What is their purpose anyway?In reality these humans are pigs.They are just like me.Do against God's wills.So why the heck they want to put it on their statuses?Aren't they embarrassed when in reality they are pigs but in social network they say they are pious?These kind of people are dangerous.There is a term for these kind of humans. "Munafik".They pretend to be pious in front of people but if other people do not see,they do against God's wills. I do not post that status because I realise I'm not good enough to post that.So I posted "bla..bla..bla..i'm the best..bla..bla..bla..i'm the most pious man on earth..bla..bla..i'm the coolest..bla..bla..bla..i'm the most romantic person..bla..bla..bla..i'm the most goes on~" to remind them about the reality.One of them felt offended and posted "Antara tnda seorang itu berhati 'kotor' atau sedang ditipu oleh perangkp SYAITAN adalah, apabila dia mmbaca, melihat, atau mndengar sseorang berkongsi nasihat, tazkirah & inti yg baik dengan yg lain, DIA AKAN MULA MENYERANG si penasihat dgn plbgai tuduhan buruk, atau berkata 'dia pun pernah buat juga' & ungkit apa2 kelemahan individu penasihat yg silam atau dgn fitnah. Hati-hatilah..."
I feel funny because the person who posted that status has 30 GB of pornographic movies in his/her external hard disk.Yet he/she has guts to publish himself as a pious human.Errr...I feel some kind of tired with people.
One more thing (the last I ensure you) there are some Imams and Ulamaks who are thinking they are the highest and the most pious humans on the earth. They always impose new rules and regulations to suit the current situations. I do not believe in them because they are talking on groundless statement.They allow what's suits their lusts and deny what's against their lusts.A simple question like "Do you borrow from the bank to buy a house or a car?" If he says yes, then try to ask "Then you pay for the interests?"...If he says yes, ask him "Do you know interests are forbidden in our religion?" You will hear many excuses from him..That simple question really kills them.Funny pork...I only listen to a people who are practicing 100% religion,not half way.This type of people we should obey,not some kind of porks.The people who practicing 100% religion are the one inherit the miracles of The Prophet ( Muhammad s.a.w)...What they say will become true,their prayers are answered,they do not being cocky about themselves...
Oh my grandchildren, when you grow up...I beg you to find these types of people.In my time at this very moment, in my country there are only 4 more left.It will be hard for you to find one during your days.Don't give up to find.When you find one,you'll see the obvious differences between them and those porks...
I think that's all...It's raining now..I want to continue my sleeping...Tata

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Yogatta..It's almost over

My practicum is more or less 2 weeks more.I'll be in this institute around 4 more weeks.I can't wait to finish off my study.I want to work.I do not like depending my life on my parents or other people.So when I'm working,I have a full authority on my life.Hopefully I will get a good working environment.You know,there are several things I want to get rid off when I'm working. I want to erase all my bad habits. I do not want to mention since I know what they are.Before I forget, I feel some kind of weird when doing official business because people start to call me Mr. or En. at the front.I feel so adult..~_~
I foresee my life during my working days. I want to buy a piano so that I can play whenever I have inspiration.I want to have everything that I missed during my childhood life.Video games,expensive toys,remote control aeroplane and many more.I want all of them.
I also want to pursue my study.I do not like being a stupid person who does the same things over and over again for 40 years.Maybe being a pro killer or global drug dealer suits me the best...haha...Everyday my life is full of excitement.
Teachers in my practicum school asked me a lot of questions.One of them was "when you are getting married?". I said to them "It is not a part of my plan."...Yea..Getting married will ruin your life if you marry the wrong person.You will be wasting your whole life in miserable. The solution is do not feel so desperate to find the right man or woman.Take your own sweet time to ensure you will not marry the wrong person.
Anyway, I am almost finish my study.I will miss certain things in my life...That's how life is...I will miss my Dota friends.My "evil gang" friends who went through crazy things with me...I'm going to remember all of you the rest of my life (if I'm not losing my memory)...
That's all..Thank you thank you

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Thx I appreciate it but...

Good evening my dear grandchildren.How are you?I wonder how you look like...or maybe my wish is not full fill because you are not even exist.Today I want to tell you something.I'm not being cocky or what so ever.I'm telling you the truth.I always get compliment of my look.Today is the funniest ever.I got compliment when I was in the school canteen.A parent came from far,and compliment me.That time I was talking about something funny with my friend.After I received the compliment,the joke that we were talking about became funnier.I had a student in my school tried to copy everything about me.I hate mirrors.I said to him,be yourself.
Okay.That's not the main point of my topic today.My main focus is I never being carried away by compliments that I receive unless they are from people who are special and close to me.I really like when they compliment me.But the fact is very rare I receive them.The probability is 1%.Since I was young,compliments were not being given.I grew up without compliments.I feel awkward if I receive them.There are pros and cons about this situation but I focus on the bright side.The consequences is when I'm doing something good to people,I do not expect them to compliment me.In short,I'm doing something just because I want to do it.
Compliments about my look or behaviour from friends and strangers annoy me.If I want to receive compliments,I want them from people who are close to me.
I'm sleepy already...oh..I have a question..who is INA FUCHSIA??I do not know this person...IF INA FUCHSIA reads this,gimme a clue about who you are....I do not like strangers to follow my writing because it is personal.I put the link of my blog on my fb because it makes me feel easy to visit my blog.No other intention.Sleepy already.nite2 dear..tata

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

One day

I hope one day I am able to end all the miseries which haunted me for such along time.I have decided everything must be ended before it is too late.I am tired of living this kind of life.I need to reboot myself and reborn.I want to have a fresh start where I used to have when I was a child.I also have planned several steps.For sure I will not tell them now because I do not like people to predict my move.I want a new life...

Monday, April 4, 2011

A gloomy Monday

Evening my dear grandchildren.How are you today?Have you been good?You know.Today is not a good day for me.Many unplanned things happened to me.It was all started at the school.After the assembly suddenly my lecturer came to the school.I was not really prepared to teach for today because I planned to focus on performance for the coming English Week.Before this,she would inform us she would inform if she wanted to come.I felt betrayed by her.
The best part was she informed me that today she did not want to evaluate my teaching.So I felt a bit relax.I focused more on training pupils to do actions for their songs.Suddenly she came to me and told me, "You should start teaching now.I want to evaluate you."Then I was like "You are a kind of snake woman.You said one thing,you do other things."I began to lose my mood for teaching.I became very strict and fierce to my pupils.Several times I yelled and shouted at my pupils because they did not behave.Normally I would tolerate with their behaviours, but not for today.I did not care my lecturer was in the class.All my rough behaviours were actually for the lecturer.My class went into complete silent because I yelled to them.
The climax of the scene for today was one of my favourite pupils ( I pay extra attention to this student because he is a slow learner but he is eager to learn) misbehaved. He made his friend cried. I shouted "THAT'S IT.COME HERE...MONITOR,TAKE HIM TO THE SENIOR ASSISTANT NOW!!!!". The boy cried with regret.Several times he begged me not to send him to the senior assistant.He swore he would not repeat the action anymore. Sadly today he caught me in the wrong mood. I did not care. I shouted to him "GO NOW!!!"...The monitor took him to the senior assistant.
After the lesson,I went to see the senior assistant.The boy was still crying.The senior assistant did not take any action yet because he needed me to verify the boy's action.So I told the senior assistant what the boy had done.After telling the senior assistant,I went into the teachers' room to put all my belongings there.Then I went out to go to the toilet.As I passed through corridor, I saw the senior assistant and the boy in the textbook room.I saw the boy was still crying and the senior assistant was opening a cupboard.The senior assistant called me and asked the boy to seek for my forgiveness.I said to the boy "Look straight into my eyes now.Tell me you are sorry and promise me you will not repeat it next time". He said he was sorry and promised me he would not do the same action again. As I was talking to the boy, the senior assistant passed by. He said "Next time if this boy misbehaved,tell me. I want to put him into the cupboard." And I was like =_="....ROFL...I thought he canned that boy.
Anyway I feel sorry for that boy because he misbehaved at the wrong time.I feel bad for myself because of doing such thing to him but I need to set an example to other pupils.Before this I would only give them warning orally but today I did what I said.
Back to my lecturer,she commented a lot about my teaching.I was not in mood to listen to the snake woman.So I did not pay much attention to her talking.She thinks teaching is easy to do and everything can be conducted smoothly without any interruption.I do not want to listen to her at all.She is a Moral major,not English major.I even fell asleep when she was talking to me.Huhu..I covered my eyes as if I was thinking but actually I was sleeping in front of
So what I have learned from today are two things.Do not betray other people trusts in you because they will lose their respect. Another one is she is a snake woman.I hate her 12345678910...I will never trust her anymore.She only knows how to talk,but does not do what she says.Lame...

Sunday, April 3, 2011

I will be thin again!!!

Evening my grandchildren.How are you today?You know,I am fat!!!I started to realise it when I was brushing my teeth and I looked at the mirror.I saw a fat man looking at me.I stared a little more and I realised that fat man was me!!!OMG...So I took several drastic changes in my life.I do not want to eat rice anymore.I want to exercise if I have time but obviously my sickness disallow me to do that.If only I'm healthy as normal people I think I would be thin faster.Right now I need to reduce the amount of food and eat healthily.
I switch my main course.I only eat food which contain simple carbo like bread.I need to enjoy my new way of eating because I have to.I do not want to be fat.Only weak people are fat.Fat is a taboo for me..hehe..I think that's all...Your grandfather needs to sleep because I did not have enough sleep last night....I went to war...sleepy d...tata bobai

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Happy happy

This feeling has been started since last night...Yep...Last night when I was doing my lesson plan,I was so happy because...So it continues until now.Tonight I'm so happy because I have found a song which haunted me for a very long time.Almost 11 years.I had tried to find it before but I failed.So today as I woke up, I smiled because of last night and the song came again into my mind.I only remembered certain parts of the song.The parts which I remembered were "just follow where I lead,I'll give you what you need" and also "I'll bring out the best in you".So during my free time today, I hummed the song slowly.As I hummed it,suddenly I came to the chorus "It's easy things to do when someone has believed in you".Then today when I was waiting for my friends to DotA, I opened Youtube page and typed the chorus.Yeay....I found it...
I was so happy... : )
The song entitled "Someone who believes in you".I wanted that song badly because it makes me recall my school days.My father played that song when we were on the way to my school.That song made me day dream about my hopes and feelings till I reached my school.That's why I wanted that song badly.Moreover the lyrics of the song are powerful.Beautiful and poetic.I'm not being sentimental here but I do appreciate good things.
Now there are several more songs which I want because they have sentimental value to me.I guess I need to start humming them.hehe...
I'm sleepy right now.I need to sleep already.Good nite dear.Bye!!!