The unhappy me

I do not feel like writing but I have to write it down so that I wont forget.Well what I can say about the new environment of my workplace is I'm still adapting.Learning the routines and also who are the player makers there.I notice one thing.Everyday I drag myself to shower and to work.Nothing beats the happiness of going back from the workplace but the happiness only lasts for about 3 hours after I reach home.When it is night again,I start to feel really unhappy about I have to go to work again tomorrow.I never felt that way before.I am not sure what makes me really unhappy.Perhaps I am still thinking about the products I left at the former workplace.I moulded them and trained them hard for years.Suppose this year end I would start to see them bloom.I feel like I have unfinished business with them.Or perhaps I am not happy with the distance I have to travel everyday.It is quite far.Or perhaps I am not really happy when my routines have changed.I need to wake up earlier than before due to the long distance I have to travel to the workplace.I need to sleep earlier than before.Every night I have to force myself going to sleep early eventhough I am not sleepy.Or perhaps I need to start from the scrath.Everybody is nice there but still I am not happy.Well I guess the saying feeling alone even you are surrounded by people is the worst feeling is true.I think I should focus on my study for 2 upcoming years and I am done here.I am going to change my job.I just need to bare for 2 years more.The only thing that stopping me is myself.Nah I am going to the bed now.See you again someday.Goodbye :(

I hate changes

Hello my grandchildren.It has been awhile since the last time I wrote to you.You know things have changed.I was in a struggle before now I bet I am a bit stable.I got transferred to another place.The moment I heard about the news I was unsure what I felt and what did I suppose to feel.I looked at the bright side to calm myself down.It is funny though because till this moment I feel betrayed.I molded them for so many years and this is the moment for them to shine but this thing happens.Perhaps there is something better for me.It is very unprofessional of me for trying to hold on to the past memories I have with them.Creating a boundary and always feel things will be better if the changes did not happen.I am off to bed now.See you again.

Compliment

Good morning my dear grandchildren.Yea it is morning.Around 3.35 a.m while I'm writing this.I do not really have things to say but I have to write because I cannot sleep.So prepare to read.You must read because I have written this.First of all listen to me.Do not try to fish people's recognition and praises.All those things lead to your destruction.Just do what religion says.Yea it is nice to be complimented by others and you will feel on the top of the world.I used to be like that but then I encountered life and death situation and none of the complements I received was able to help me to go through the situation.It happened  a long time ago and since that moment I stopped fishing for it because it is pointless.So sleepy.I cant write anymore.Oh ya tomorrow I need to do my medical check up.Wanna come with me?

I will always tell the truth

Good morning my grandchildren.I know it's quite late but I want to tell you a story.A short one I promise.So today I went dinner at a random restaurant.Just to try something new.The restaurant was so dull and few customers were eating when I arrived.I like the ambiennce of the restaurant because I just hate a crowded place.Then a waiter came to me with the menu.As I went through the menu,I was impressed by the list of foods.They served western food!!!I did not expect to see it at a restaurant situated in a rural area.I ordered a plate of Spaghetti Carbonara.

The drink came and what I can say is based on the drink itself I could tell the food would not be delicious.Guess what!!My prediction was right.The waiter served me a plate of pale and stale spaghetti carbonara.I did not feel excited to eat it.I took a bite and it was really awful.Too salty with unwanted extra spices taste were torturing my taste buds badly.I wanted to pay for the food and walk away right after the first bite but I felt it was very rude to do that.

So I took several bites and stopped.I went to the counter to pay for the meal.The cook came to me and noticed the leftover was so much on the table.With sweat on his face(yes he sweated alot due to the heat from cooking),he asked me "Was the food nice?".I almost burst into laugh but I controlled myself.I had to tell the truth.So I told him about the food.Deep inside I felt sympathy towards him.He cooked whole-heartedly but the food was pathetic.Anyway I guess telling the truth is the best policy.I told him straight forward because I really wanted him to improve.I do not want him to live in delusion.Somehow it was funny though.Hihi.Okay.That's all for now.I'm off to bed.See you again.Night2

Peek inside

Good morning.Yea it is morning now.So how's life treating you?I want to talk about something heavy tonight but I do not like to reveal my thoughts openly.Should I tell you?Let me think for secs.Okay I have made my mind.I'm telling you since you are my grandchildren and who knows certain things can be used during your time.

First of all I happened to read about a piece of opinion by a well known person among the laymen.So that man was talking about the main reason of divorce is the change of nature where nowadays women have carriers.The writer said women feel secured and do not care really care if they are getting divorce.He also stated that back in the old days,women tried to endure the pain of marriage due to the inability to survive economically of they were divorced.So that is the main reason why the number of divorce is getting higher each year. Interesting thought isn't it?

Do you want to hear my opinion on this issue?I think the writer perhaps saw his mother got beaten by his father but his mother endured it well because the inability to survive if she was divorced by his father.Just joking.Personally I think the main reason of divorce rate is getting higher each year is due to lack of leadership quality of a man possesses.To be more specific the leadership quality that I mean is religion.I happened to have an opportunity talking with an officer who is working in the Islamic Department of the state.I still remember where he said when he conducted 10 interviews for marriage,only 1-2 men who knew the basic of religion well.The other 8 only smirked and scratching their heads.

What do you expect from a man who does not know his own religion to be your leader?I learn my religion so that I know how to react and how to behave because religion is absolute truth.Nah some of people might say as long as they know how to behave nicely then it is alright.Define nicely.Human's laws and cultures are weak.Certain behaviours are considered good in my culture but they are considered rude in other culture.That is why you need an absolute guideline to behave and the guideline would be religion.I do not care whether my behaviour is rude or not even in my culture as long as it is acceptable in religion.

Back to marriage.When the husband or both of the spouse do not really know about religion,when they encounter problems and bad situations they will react based on their limited knowledge or even using their emotions.Limited knowledge and emotions combined and they produce the best recipe to the downfall of a marriage.Yea.Human knowledge is limited.If only they knew what the religion taught them how to react in every aspect of their life,I am sure many marriages could be saved.

I have seen enough of examples of this.So this situation really affects me.It is very hard for me to find a spouse.My colleagues are wondering why am I still not married.I always hear they say " You have a job.Why is it so hard for you to find one?If I were you,I would have no problem finding a spouse".For me,me and them are looking at different qualities of a spouse.Perhaps for them look comes first but for me religion comes first.I let you see the world from my perspective a bit.Let say a girl standing in front of me.They first thing that I would check is her attire.Is it appropriate in my religion?If the answer is no,immediately I will kill my intention to take further action.Okay let's say she wears decently.Now the second thing is her behaviours.It takes so much time for me to evaluate the girl because it is impossible for me to access her behaviours on a short occasion.Next intelligent.Yea the most attractive part in a girl for me is intelligent..I hate small talks.An intelligent spouse is very important because I want to spend my time with someone who I can talk with and asking for opinion.It is contradicting with typical men.The first thing they would check is perhaps the face or the body.Then okay everything is good.Let's get married.You know,I do not think finding a spouse for me is an easy task because usually it takes so much time.I am afraid that maybe by the time I find someone,it is too late for me.

Nah...I talk too much.I am not a good person but finding the right person is important because I want to improve myself.I am off to bed now.You take care.Good night and goodbye.

Lyphard Melody

You know today as I was searching for the right technique for fishing in deep sea,I stumbled across a blog.The blog was very informative but something else caught my attention.It was the background music.Very sentimental and I used to hear it when I was a kid.I was really eager to know the name of the melody.I really hate the blog because it did not state the name of the melody.I rarely love a song but that song gave me goose bump. Nothing drives me crazier than having a song which the title of it is unknown.I cursed the owner of the blog and started my search.I suspected the melody was played by Richard Clayderman so I started the old school way searching for the tittle of the mysterious melody using Youtube.I opened the playlist of Richard Claderman's hits.Darn.It had almost 200 melodies.So I began to listen one by one.As I was listening,I browsed for the way of finding a melody title on the net.Nothing really worked.The pressure was mounting.I went crazier than before.I was so desperate and I even analysed the java script of the blog.Argghhhh.It did not state the name of the melody.Deep inside I started to lose faith in technology.I thought very deep and hard.Ceh...None of my friends were fans for classical music.My last resort was asking for someone who knew how to read the java code better than me and knew useful softwares to help my search.Apparently he also failed because the owner of the blog was really a jerk.He saved the song in HDD server and concealed the information of the melody.Arghhh....While my faith was fading away,at the 163 playlist,I heard identical melody with the mysterious melody.Yeahhh!!!I found it.The mysterious melody was Lyphard Melody by Richard Clayderman.I told my friend that I had to listen until 163 song in the playlist and he said I was crazy.Yea...I am crazy.Persistent is the key to success.I am sleepy now.I have to go.I will sleep with a smile on my face.Taa

The pack leader

One day hopefully I will be a leader.You know what I mean by that.So when I am the leader I expect you to follow me.Respect me as a leader.I will start to behave like a good leader.I'm preparing myself to lead you to the right path.You be a good follower.I am the one who you should follow.Not other people.Why you should follow other people when I am your leader?I will not take it lightly when you start to listen to other people.Some people must learn to respect that I am the leader and you are the follower.I have seen enough examples in life the situation where follower starts to listen to other people.It leads to destruction.I do not want my life to crumble due to external factor.If you cannot follow my way,then you should not appoint or accept me as your leader.