Yah...For this entry, I want you, my grandchildren to know what I do when I'm down.So you will not hurt yourself next time.What I am going to do when I'm down morally?
I love listening to epic songs, fantasy songs and even orchestras to motivate me.Yep it does help me a lot. For the start you can try listening to Within Temptation, X-Japan, Two steps from Hell, OST from movies like Departures, and Snow Queen. I can guarantee you the songs have something very strong amplifying your calmness as if they are alive.
When listening to the kinds of songs, I start to fantasize about life which I long to have. You know, I want to be in a place where the atmosphere is cold, the sun not too bright neither too dim. The surrounding is almost like dusk in cold countries.
Then I start to imagine I have a house. A big one. Like a castle in middle age. Like a Dracula castle. Situated on a hill. Surrounded by lakes and thick forests. Yeah. Then it is always raining there. I wanna live alone there. So no one can hurt me and I cannot hurt anyone.
Lame is it? but I really want to live in that kind of place. From my young age I started to think and imagine that kind of place. I thought it would be faded as I growing up but it didn't.
I do know that kind of place is not possible to get it. So I will turn it into reality by having a piece of my imagination in my real life. When I can make my own living, I want to buy a house which I personally will decorate. Your grandpa when doing things he likes, he will give the best shot. Especially to achieve this dream.
If I get married, I hope she will understand my situation. I hope she can give full support for my dream. I mean it.
Now I'm listening to an OST song from Bleach entitled " never meant to belong". I want to stop writing now. You take care of yourself okay.bye
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