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Saturday, January 14, 2017

Graduation?What graduation?

Good evening to you.How I wish you could read my writing.Tomorrow I will complete my last task for my master.I have vowed not to attend my graduation day since you will not be attending my graduation ceremony.It hurts because I used to imagine you and me together to celebrate the moment because I never had someone I care attend my graduation ceremony.Well I guess I have to go alone again but this time it will be different.I do not want to attend at all.To fill in the void of time I have,80% of chance I will pursue my PhD so I can ease my pain with reading and tasks.You know,the darker it gets,the better I  become.How I miss you~

Monday, January 2, 2017

A new me

Yesterday, I got a message from my supervisor saying that my thesis is approved by my examiner.The words in the message showed so much joy and happiness. I.I felt nothing.It is not that I was being ungrateful.No.I am always grateful to God.Thanks for everything God.You give me everything from the start until forever.I started to think the reasons behind my dead feelings.I think what entertains normal people does not entertain me anymore.My definition of happiness starts to differ from normal people.I am changing.I start to lose the normal human part.I want this transformation.I start to hunt for the biggest achievement where all people also must obtain it.You,you shouldn't come yet.Let me be complete then by God's will,I'll be back.It hurts so much but we must endure it.I believe we both can do it. ;)