It is getting harder

I think I will walk alone in this life.Ya I know in 200 there will be 1 who will conform with my way of life.It is a fact.But I do not have time to try out 200.Living with me meaning there is no gospel and glory.It is hard for people to live without them.Recently questions keep on taunting my mind. What my great great great great great grandfathers and grandmothers did at this particular moment?Did they regret with their lives?Let say I am married and I have decedents. Will my great great great great great grandchildren even know my name?I don't think they even know about my existence.That is why I want to abandon gospel and glory.This world is just a place full of lies and fake promises.If only you see the way I see.The further I go,the harder I find the one.I start to see differently.Do you know deep inside,I have a constant duel.It fights each other and usually the bad one wins.I am so weak.That is why I have the highest respect for people who have won the duel.There are very few of them.I am trying to be the few.Until my dying day,I will keep on trying. ;)