Weeks go by

Now my earworm has changed. I start to get back to my starting point. Relapse is the best word to describe my current situation. Do I like it? The short answer is no...the longer answer is nooooo....I don't want to be like this. I do not want to continue drifting. I am afraid that little by little, I am back to the starting point.I had sacrificed a lot to go to the front. I am not willing to go back. Sometimes...nah not sometimes. I always feel I am alone in this battle. I do not have close friends who have the same goal like I do. It is a hard battle. HELP~