Why?

Suddenly I feel like I do not have mood to do anything. I want to do nothing. Just now I played DotA and I said to the host " host I want to leave coz I do not have mood to play". He was shocked coz we were leading and controlling the game. So for tonight I do not want to play anything. Right now I am listening to songs which amplify my no mood feeling. I write this because in the future, if I read this I will remember how I feel.

Okay...Right now I feel everything that I do is worthless. I put so much effort you know to come this far. My inner voice asks me to get her, but my conscious says no. You are progressing so good.

Now I feel I do not belong here. I want to go out. I do not want to do the same routine everyday. I mean my way of life. Wake up in the afternoon, playing games, in the evening, go jogging, at night playing games until the morning. The cycle continues and repeated everyday. I do not like it. I want to do something adventurous, adrenalin pump and challenges. If you are wondering why I do not going out meeting my school friends, here is the answer. I do not like my school friends. They like to demotivate others and have different interest from me. If I going out with them, they like to talk about lame things like get laid, their worst actions (the worse the actions the cooler they are) but for me those are not crazy actions but stupid and many more. You know, I do not blame them for behaving like that. Their environment is like that. So I do not like hang out with them. I used to be like that but at a certain part of your life you will realise what you are doing is wrong. So I change.

Hmm...I want go out.But I do not know where...How I wish I could turn back time, study properly and work with company which always travel...

Tired of mumbling already...See you soon dear...tata