What is next?

Yeay!!! I am writing now because I feel it had been such a long time I did not write. So many big things went by and I did not write those. Currently I am so busy with my study. Hmm...Two more semesters and by God's will I am going to finish the study by the end of this year. I start to think to pursue my PhD. Yet so many things I have to consider. I will start to have commitment, what I am going to do with my PhD and many more. I seriously do not want to be a lecturer because lecturers' working hour is sooooo long. I don't think I am going to be happy with long working hour but at the same time I love academic reading. I am not really good at wasting time like small talks or talk about football.hmmm..I always need something to read or do if not I would feel I was not productive enough.Nah....Let me finish my study first then I will make my mind.

Back to December?

If you want to go back to December,you go alone.I am not going back to December!!!I hate December.A lot.

It strikes again

Hey...Do you hear that?Ya,those songs.They are back again.Remember the time when I killed them without any mercy?I killed them with full of hatred and vengeance.Do you still remember how long did it take to kill them?How long you suffered just to make them stop eating you inside out?If you still remember why do you want to resurrect them?Just why do you keep your guard lower and lower?Is it really worth it?Do you want to die for the second time?Remember the pain you had to go through.When the time you were half insane half dead.Do you really want to go against it just because you believe your instinct?Sure instinct.Last time your instinct also the one that drove you to the destruction.What should you do?Be yourself.Do not waste time.Go straight to the point.What is happening to you?Where is your confidence when you had the gut to even argue with the professors because you believed you were right.I know it is a game of art and you are not good at art.But hey,nothing to lose.At least you know the truth and you can stop having duels in your mind right?Heh...Okay I am back!Do it now or suffer like the last time.You know right the place that you always find your strength.So tomorrow is a good day.

Sorry fish

When I am fishing I only search for Barramundi and Snapper because they have good fighting spirit and worth my time.They are very hard to find and sometimes I accidentally hook Puffer fish,Grunter and Croaker. Slowly I will unhook and let them go.Of course they will hurt because of the hook.If I accidentally hook them, it is always better not to bring anything home rather than wasting their lives.I am not being ungrateful but it is because I know I won't eat them.By the way,I am not a fisherman,I have other important thing to do.I go fishing during my leisure time.

I am old

Good morning!!!Oh wait...nope...It is afternoon so good afternoon!!!So how are you my grandchildren?Good?I watched a video about a family was having family time.The son drew a picture of his house with a small hut behind it.The father asked the son to whom did it belong to and the son replied"it is yours just like you are doing to your father".Such a heart breaking story right?Teettt...For me, in my point of view I do not think so.Remember this my grandchildren.If one day you find out that I am living in a small hut do not be sad neither remorse.I choose that way.There will be time when I feel everything I have is nothing.I really want to isolate myself in a small hut,maybe far away from people.I want to remember my death and the life after it.Actually my I want to start living that kind of life now but thinking maybe I have responsibilities lying ahead, I need to postpone it.The key word here is postpone.I feel comfortable living with just enough.A line that always ties me is "Take what you need,not what you desire".If I follow my desire,it is endless.What for I desire things which are not permanent?Sooner or later I am going to leave everything behind.It is always a good decision to take what you just need.Greedy and glory drive you to drain.To achieve the feeling of "Yup I have enough" is not an easy task.You need to train and go through a lot.Only few people have the feeling of sufficient of what they have.When you have that feeling,you start to give more and automatically you slowly realise about the reality of this life.The world has teeth and your life is short.Very short indeed.You will feel that you have nothing and you will start to be humble and always appreciate small little things.Grateful and kindness gradually come along.Hear this my grandchildren.Find a person who can lead you to the absolute truth.When you have found him,never let him go.Okay maybe you do not understand now but I am sure one day you will.Pray my grandchildren.May God bless you with His kindness.That is all.Bye bye

Peekebo

Good evening my dear grandchildren.Actually I have a heavy topic to tell you but I am too busy right now.So I am telling you a bit about my current study.This is my third semester of my master year.I keep asking over and over to myself why am I doing this master.The answer keeps changing but the most prominent answer is I am bored and I need to exercise my brain.Sounds a bit cocky but really that is the truth.I remember the time when I had nothing better to do I started to find problem and solution.I remember I started to learn how to hack things,thinking about committing a perfect crime and some other illegal activities.To save myself,I channel my excessive energy to something legal and makes me grow.It is fun but sometimes quite stressful.I need to balance my life.I am taking a very heavy subject this semester.It is an elective subject.I need to read 2-4 journals per week.A lot!!!The journals are so lengthy. Arghhh...It even consumes my time to play online game.Anyway I learn a lot from the journals I read.Oh ya,I got a riddle for you.What will happen if...Think...10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...Time's up...Nothing will happen.I am off to bed reading a journal.Hahaha...Normal human being would read a book to sleep,I read an academic journal to sleep.How do you like it?You just don't.Believe me.Lulz

3.2.1

Good evening!!!I have something to tell you.Come closer and listen.Well things went the way I predicted so I guess that is the end of the story.I really want to continue but I am too scared to try the new one.Why I ended?Hmm..Imagine a circle.It represents my thought.The total volume of it is 100%.The problem is the circle before was almost 40% preoccupied with something really unnecessary.I felt annoyed.Suppose the circle should be 80-90% full of the One.The unnecessary thing must be discarded as it did not want to cooperate. So I discarded it but it still preoccupies about 10% of my circle.It takes time I guess.So I will totally forget about it one day.Hey.Holiday is almost here.I need to recharge my motivation.It hurts though.Luckily not too deep.Now I am off to bed.Nite...Be good